His Mate
by SeriousOrSirius
Summary: It had been one year since she seen him.
1. Beginning

**One Year **since I lasted saw him. One year since he told me I deserved better than him, than what he could give me. He didn't know, and still doesn't know what would happen if he left. Well he wouldn't, he didn't even know he marked me. He had bond me to him, an unbreakable tie to each other. Though, it was more me to him, than him to me.

I had always liked him, more than just as a friend, since he had been our professor. The age difference, him being a werewolf, and I once been his student, were all factors against us. People would be against the relationship, but I didn't care. I thought about all of this, but I didn't even know -think- he like me anymore than a friend.

I still believed this after Hogwarts, and I still had a crush on him. He had helped me a lot through the war and after. He was my greatest comfort, helped me to deal with the deaths of my loved ones, especially my parents. I fell in love with him totally and completely then. I loved Remus Lupin - _I love him_ – and I always will.

I was shocked when he admitted his true feelings to me. I thought it was some sort of joke, it was too good to be true, he couldn't _like me_ like me, but those thoughts were wiped from my mind when he kissed me. It was better than I could ever imagine.

From then on, I Hermione Granger was in a relationship with Remus Lupin. It was great; He was sweet, comforting, and caring. I loved him, and he loved me. I didn't care about the age difference or that he was a werewolf. He always thought that he was so luck to be the one with me.

Once he let his wolf take over when we made love, his bite bond me to him forever. Not that I cared; I would have loved him forever anyway. The full moons gave us trouble, but I knew the risks of a werewolf. The full moon after his wolf had marked me; he lost control to the wolf. It wanted its mate, me. The next morning Remus was incredibly weak, worse than I have ever seen him. His room was a disaster, with every bit of furniture had scratches and bite marks one them. He thought that the wolf had built up immunity to wolfsbane.

"I am no longer safe to be around, by anyone." He had added the last part when he saw me open my mouth. "Wolfsbane does not work for me anymore; I am dangerous, and likely to hurt you." He took a deep breath, and knew where this was going. I didn't like it one bit. "You deserve more, to be with someone that won't hurt you, that why I am leaving you."


	2. Gone

He left without letting me talk, to explain. He left, and apart of me left with him.

There was a pain, as if my heart my slowly shattering. I was never happy. Everyone notice, they just thought it was from being broken up with. They thought that I would get over it – _him_ – soon enough, but I knew the truth. I was never to get over him, never be happy again. I had read everything on werewolf marks and there effects if they where to be separated.

The mate's heart would slowly shatter, bringing them pain, sickness, and weakness. It would only stop when they where once again with the werewolf that marked them. If this didn't happen then they would not live more than a couple years. The longest was 6 years; the mate truly believed that the werewolf would come back. The shortest was a few months.

I knew he would not come back; he had started a relationship with Tonks a few months after he left. I didn't want to force out of a relationship with anyone, and to be free to do what he wants. If he knew that I was dieing, he would have gave up everything for me. I couldn't let him ruin his life.

Now I'm at Grimmauld Place, everyone has notice that I'm not getting better. I can see the worry in their face, which I ignore. They hope that I will get better in time, but they are wrong, it will only worst as time goes by. They don't understand and never will.

"Hermione, there is a feast tonight and everyone's coming, go get freshened up dear." Molly said. I knew it was for me, to cheer me up or help me get over him. I wondered who she meant by everyone.


	3. Another

When I came down, I didn't look any better then I had before I went up. I knew that I had less than a year at the most. I grew weaker every day, sicker, and my body ached with every move I made. I hide it well though. My pain lessened a little, and I realized he was here. It would be painful tonight.

All eyes turned towards me as I entered the dinning room, I quickly scanned the room. He was there, holding the hand of Tonks. In seeing that I got the pain of someone stabbing me in the heart, it was almost too much to handle.

"Hello." I managed weakly. I quickly sat down farthest I could from him. I could feel the eyes one me, full of worry. Every time they kissed, touched, or anything like that, I could feel it. It was like they were slowly ripping my heart out. I wondered why he couldn't feel it, werewolves could sense pain. He must have been ignoring it, or it had something to do with the fact he left me. Suddenly the door opened, Bill came in the last one to arrive.

"Sorry I'm a bit late." He said as he took the seat next to mine. Bill Weasley was mostly werewolf since he was bit by Greyback, if he could sense pain he would know about me. When he tensed next to me, I knew he knew. As so as dinner was finished, I practically ran to my room. All I could think about is how Bill knew and was going to tell Remus. Then Remus would give up his life and Tonks to be with me, and I couldn't do that to him. There was a knock at my door; I decided then that I would deign it. Bill stood silently; I opened my door wider to let him in my room. Once my door shut, he silenced the room.


	4. Talk

"So, when were you going to tell Remus? Tell him that instead of giving your own life, he took it away?" Bill said his voice raising as he talked.

"He loves Tonks; I wouldn't force him to be with me, to give up his life for me." I answered.

"Remus doesn't love Tonks! He is using her to get over you; He would give her up in a second!" Bill yelled at me.

"He's happy with her." I stated

"He's pretending!" He shouted.

"No-," He cut me off.

"You're dying. Dying, don't you get it? You have to tell him." He yelled. I open my mouth to protest. "Now." He said as he practically dragged me out of my room and down the steps. Remus was standing alone near the steps.

"Remus?" I said quietly.

"Yes?" he replied now looking at me.

"I need to talk to you, its important." I said. I was about to go on but Tonks came up. I glanced up at Bill, who was still on the steps above me; he was glaring at Tonks as she walked up.

"We should go announce our news," she said with a look on her face that told me of her dislike for my talking to Remus; that he was her property.

"Yes, lets." He quickly replied with a false sense of excitement. Another part of my heart broke; he was obviously trying to get away from me. I was sure I did not want to know the news they had, if it was enough to make Tonks happy, I wanted nothing to do with it.

"What she has to say is extremely important, Remus," Bill said pointy ignoring Tonks.

"What ever it is can wait." Tonks interrupted again, she did not want Remus anywhere near me.

"Yes, It can wait I will talk to her later." Remus said to Bill as if I was not there. Remus turned and walked away with Tonks close behind.


	5. News

"We are getting married!" Tonks shouted even though everyone was quietly listening. She was smiling a wide, victorious smile; like Remus was the greatest prize. Everyone clapped and congratulated them, everyone smiling and happy. The women had a wedding to plan for and the men had another reason to get together to drink, what more could anyone want.

"When is the wedding?" Someone asked the happy couple.

"I was thinking within the next three months." Tonks announced. My heart broke, I couldn't live to see Remus marry Tonks; it would literally kill me. Three months, I had three months to do something that would make a mark in this world. I would do something for the fight against Voldemort.

"So soon?" Molly Weasley asked, "That does not give a lot of time for planning."

"Well we want to be married soon, you never know during these times." Tonks said looking straight at me. What did she think that I would try to steal Remus back? The questions continued and I could not take it anymore. I slipped quietly out of the room and upstairs away from everyone.

Their engagement made everything so real, so final. I had three months. Three months to do something important. I did not know what I was going to do. Something to help people, maybe save someone's life.

The little hope I had, even though I knew there was no real chance, was gone with there engagement. My heart shattered once again, it was the last my heart could take that night. The pain was too much, I could barely think as I passed out. I didn't hear the stairs creak as someone walked up them or the door as it was opened.


	6. Worried

Remus was the first one I saw when I woke up. I was still completely exhausted. I noticed the plan white walls of the small room and recognized it as St. Mungos. Everything came together; Remus must have found me after I passed out and taken me to St. Mungos.

"How long was I out?" was the first thing I asked.

"How long was I out? That's all you can say. I was worried and still don't have any idea what is wrong with you!" Remus shouted.

"What do you want me to say? That everything is fine? That I am fine? Then I would be lying to you." I said my voice hardly raised but my breathing was uneven.

"You have been out two days. Your sick but they don't know what is wrong. How can the healers help you if they do not know what is wrong?" Remus once again shouted.

"I am not getting better." I stated quietly.

"Not get better? You have to get better!" shouted Remus looking frantic now.

"Remus, don't worry about me." I said.

"Don't worry how can I not worry? I-" Remus shouted, his voice rising ever more as he talked.

"You have been away for a year! You completely ignored me last night when I was going tell you!" I said, my voice rose as much as it could.

"You were going to tell me? Tell me what?" Remus said his voice fell a little.

"That I am dying, but you where to busy with Tonks telling everyone your fine and getting married!" I yelled.

"So that's what this is about. You're jealous of Tonks, your not really dying!" Remus's voice had hope once again.

"Go back to Tonks, Remus. Go back to her and let me die in peace. Just go." I said I had no more energy to talk more. He looked at me a moment longer not saying a word then quickly turned around and walked out of the room. He went back to her.


	7. Fight

Bill entered after him. I could barely look at him. He was going to yell at me for not telling the truth to Remus.

"I couldn't tell him, Bill. He loves Tonks and I am not going to ruin it for them!" I said before he could say anything.

"He does not love her! He loves you; why else would he sit in here for two days just watching you?" Bill said sounding tired.

"Then why did he go back to her? He lo-," I was interrupted by Bill.

"He went back because you told him too. He would do anything you say!" Bill yelled at me.

"What do you want me to do go up to him and tell him that I love him and he should never leave me, that I literally can't live without him?" I screamed.

"Yes, that exactly what you should do!" He exclaimed. I was silent for a moment. I could not do that to Remus, he loves her, no matter what Bill said. I wanted to tell Remus everything, make him come back to me, but it isn't right to decide for Remus. He decided he wanted Tonks over me, that he loved Tonks and not me.

"No, I couldn't." I said in a small voice. "Please leave, Bill." He did not stay a moment longer, just walked right out of the room. It was better this way, me to be alone. I could not ruin Remus relationship with Tonks. I could not do that to Remus, I loved him too much to hurt deliberately.

I turned over to my side and just laid thinking about what I was going to do for the next three months. I knew that I wanted to do something for the Order, maybe I would go on an impossible mission that nobody else would go on. I always wanted to die fighting.


	8. Back

They let me out later in the day. The Weasley family was there to take me back to the Order's headquarters. My visit to St. Mungos was just another thing to forget about and hope it gets better on its own. Well it was not going to. I had yet to see Remus or Bill, but maybe it is better this way.

There was an Order meeting to happen after dinner. I had no idea what it was about, but then again the Order members knew little until the actual meeting. I hope there is something I could do that others could not for the fear of death. I sighed. Looking down at the book that was currently on my lap, there was little chance of reading now.

"You know something is wrong when the Bookworm can't concentrate on reading" A voice came form the doorway of the library, which is where I was.

"Remus." I acknowledged.

"So what is wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said curtly hoping he would get the hint and leave. I just could not deal with him now.

"Yes there is! You just got out of the hospital, where you told me you were going to die within three months!" he suddenly exploded.

"I have not seen you for a year, since you left me, and _now_ you care!" I shouted back.

"I have _always_ cared! That is why I left, because it was too dangerous to be around you!" he yelled.

"Then you went straight to Tonks, she is Auror, she is strong, she will be safe. I am just poor, fragile, young, innocent Hermione that will get hurt!" I screamed.

"She is trained and strong; you are young, Hermione." He said more quietly than before, conforming that he thought I was fragile without saying it.

"I have fought just as many deatheaters as her. I have fought against Voldemort, with Harry, _more_ times than her! Who is to say that I am not as strong as her?" I shouted at him.

"I except that challenge." Said a new voice.


	9. Challenge

I turned and looked; of course it was Tonks standing just outside the library. Remus quickly turned around to see who was talking.

"Tonks." Remus said in a warning tone.

"I accept your challenge to she who is stronger and more skilled in a duel." Tonks said, ignoring Remus, in a tone that said she would be greatly happy to hurt me in anyway. She wanted Remus to continue to think that I was fragile, little Hermione.

"You can not duel Hermione!" Remus practically shouted.

"Yes, let us duel, to see who is more skilled." I said ignoring Remus too.

"I will not let you duel!" This time he did shout his command.

"Remus, it is just a friendly competition." She said in a tone that would say other wise.

"A friendly, practice duel; there will be no real harm, just to see who is better." I interjected. The gleam in her eye told me someone was going to get hurt. I wanted to win, prove I was strong, and more importantly beat Tonks. I might not try to break Remus and Tonks up, but that does not mean I like her. She might get Remus but at lease I will have something over her, better than her in someway.

"Who is dueling?" Asked the voices of the Weasley twins, the rest of the Order came to see what Remus was shouting about.

"Hermione and me." Tonks answered at the same time that Remus said no one.

"Wicked, we want to watch." said Ron this time.

"NO! No one is dueling. Someone will get hurt." Remus shouted over everyone.

"Come on Remus we have practice duels all the time it is good training, no gets hurt." This was said form Harry. Everyone knew Remus could not say no to Harry, he had practically adopted Harry as his godson since Sirius died.

"The duel will take place in 10 minutes in the Ballroom; is that okay with you, Tonks?" I stated more than asked. Everyone headed to the Ballroom excited for the duel. I knew it was going to be more than a practice duel.

"Hermione, you do not have to duel her. You could drop out, no one would blame you. Tonks is a trained auror, she could easily hurt you. Please drop out, for me?" Remus asked me, we were the only ones still in the library.

"No, I will duel her. I am not fragile as you think I am. Why are you not asking Tonks to drop out, would you not be more able to convince Tonks?" I said back.

"Why would I be more able to convince her?" He asked.

"You are going to marry her." I said.

"I am asking you because I care about you." Remus said.

"And you do not care about your future wife more?" I spat.

"Hermione, you do not to be jealous of Tonks; I still care about you." He said quietly and slowly as if I was a child.

"Do not say you care about me after a year of not a word, I am going to duel Tonks." I stated as I walked passed him to leave the library.


	10. Duel

"Expelliarmus!" Tonks shouted. She thought that she could take poor little Hermione with a quick disarming spell, well she was wrong. I quickly jumped out of the way.

"Avis!, Oppugno!" I yelled, it was one of my favorite spells as being attacked by birds is horribly distracting.

"Impedimenta!" Tonks sent after she got rid of the birds.

"Protego! Furnunculus!" I cast in quick secession , I had more to gain if I won. I need the Order to see that I could beat a fully trained Aurie. They would let me go on missions then. Tonks jumped out of the way only to get hit with a Silencio.

"Tarantallegra, Rictusempra!" I sent.

"Expelliarmus!" Tonks yelled.

"Protego! Petrificus Totalus!" I shouted.

"Protego" Tonks blocked the jinx, "Langlock! Obscuro!"

I was not quick enough to block the spells, I had to act quick as I could not see or talk. I sent a nonverbal disarming spell in the direction that I thought she was.

"Reducto!" Tonks sent. I dived to the ground next to me. The spell caught the end of my hair and exploding it. She had meant to hit my head with the curse, to _kill_ me. I heard lots of shouting for the Order members that where watching our duel.

"THIS DUEL IS OVER!" shouted Remus, he sound more angry then I have every heard him. I did not pay attention to this much; I was still in shock that I was almost killed. I reached up to feel my hair, most of my mid-back length hair was gone. My hair was now up to my shoulders and burnt.

Someone took the spells off me. I looked up to see Harry and Ron above me.

"Thanks," I said as they helped me up off the ground. I looked around just in time to see Remus storm out with Tonks on his heels.


End file.
